Refried Ramblings

You know, I was watching a commercial about the Life Alert old-folks device, and it hit me that no matter what old-folks safety device they promote, they always have that C. Everett Koop guy on there, helping them to establish the legitimacy of said old-folks safety device. Koop is a former U.S. Surgeon General. This sounds absolutely excellent, but it led me to begin asking some questions that I’m not sure anyone really has the answers to.

Number one, is this guy really a surgeon? I mean, to become a Surgeon General, do you actually have to attend surgery school and get a degree in surgery, and then join some surgeons’ army, and then get promoted in the ranks until you hit General status? Is there a secret army of surgeons that absolutely requires a General to command them? What’s up with this Surgeon General? Somebody has to ask the hard questions.

I’m open to any comments about this situation.

“I’m in effect–and you’re NOT.”

- M.C. Hammer, circa 1991

I don’t know about anyone else, but in my humble opinion, Danity Kane’s performance on that Nashville Star show (don’t know the exact name) was pretty much a hot mess. I’ve all but given up on today’s music…give me some freakin’ Phil Collins greatest hits, man.

It truly saddened me when I saw the headlines this morning that George Carlin had passed away. Talk about a funny dude all the way around–he definitely walked to the beat of his own drum.

Back in the mid-nineties, I forgot exactly what year, but his HBO special came out called “Jammin’ in New York”. I’ll never forget how he just rolled up in a cab, walked into the arena and began performing. I taped that special and watched it untold amount of times, to the point that I still have the majority of his routine memorized. His whole routine had me falling in the floor laughing. One of the standout moments in my mind was when he talked about how ridiculous it was to have a magazine solely devoted to the subject of walking. He said “Here’s an interesting article…how to put one foot in front of the other.”

Anyway, before I drift off too much…suffice it to say that Carlin will be missed.

One of the things I have noticed about getting older (and I’m only 33) is the superfluous growth of hair that takes place in unfamiliar locations. I have never had as many epic battles with my nose hairs as I have now in recent years. Also, I have some amazing regenerating eyebrow hairs. At any given time, I can rub my finger across one of my eyebrows, and at least 3 eyebrow hairs get pulled loose. I can do this several times a day. You would figure that eventually they would run out if I kept doing it, but I have found that they keep growing at such a rapid pace, I could rub until the cows come home and I would never even get close to exhausting the hair reservoir that is present in my eyebrows.

Ah, the joys of getting older.

You know, I am completely a child of the 80’s, through and through…no doubt about it. Born in ‘75, it just came with the territory. My wife & I just recently got on this kick where we’re going back and watching all of the famous 80’s movies…talk about a riot. Some of the movies that were the BOMB back then are completely ridiculous now…and some of the movies that were originally intended to be intense dramas are now nothing short of comedy.

Take “The Breakfast Club” for instance. I noticed a trend with this and other movies, such as Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, that all of the teenage kids in the 80’s were angry at their parents, for one reason or another. How about that? What a revelation. Teen angst was at an all-time high back then. Just think of some of the ticked-off youth of yesteryear…what was the main reason for their anger? Yep…their parents.

Just a thought.

So I’m following the Next Food Network Star show, right…what’s up with Kevin getting let go and Neepa staying, when she doesn’t even want to be there half the time? I don’t understand it. Kevin was cool, and even had a Joey Tribiani look going on. How much friendlier-looking can you get than looking like a cast member of “Friends”?

Anyway, maybe they all agreed that Neepa just had a bad day. Whatever.

Here I am on my lunch break practicing what I will now term as “speedblogging”–basically, how much blogging can I get in before my lunch hour is up. Right now it’s 12:42 pm, and I have to be back on the clock at 12:46 pm, so I have 4 minutes to rock the blog. I really don’t have a whole lot to say, at least not a lot that can be said within 4 minutes anyway. It doesn’t matter, though…it’s still a decent way to feed the blogging addiction that I have developed.

There comes a time in your life when you realize that you are truly getting older. Not necessarily getting decrepit or anything, just getting older. I was shaving tonight, and when I looked in the mirror, I saw a plethora of incredibly complex nose hairs inside my nostrils. It freaked me out. How did they get there, when did they grow, and how did they get so long???

It made me realize that there’s something about aging that sends a signal to your nose hair glands to “Go all out, boys.” It’s a jungle up there.

I have never one time checked the stats on this blog until this morning, and I found out that after I made that post about American Idol, I had 24 page views in one day! I know to some more sophisticated internet people that’s probably not a big deal, but it is to a guy who wasn’t even trying to get page views. This blog is young, but yet it has already found it’s place in Google. Not too bad.